Why?
by skyhorizon523
Summary: After the guild reunion, Natsu finally tells Lucy why he left to train alone without her. Will his reason be good enough for her. Can she forgive him for a year of loneliness? NaLu!


It was the night after the guild's reunion in Magnolia. A crazy party of friends and comrades had been broken out at nearby bar since the actual guild building was still a pile of rubble. As the tears and the smiles and the drunk singing gave way in the late hours of the night, Lucy rested in the corner watching her family. It felt so good to have everyone, well mostly everyone, back. To be home. It wasn't back to the way before the fight with Tartarus, but for the first time in a year Lucy truly felt like Fairy Tail was coming back.

A few times over the night she had caught herself staring at a mop of pink hair bounding around with energy talking and dancing and messing with everyone. He seemed no different than the Natsu who had grabbed her hand and pulled her off to Fairy Tail that day, that wonderful day, in Hargeon Town. But she felt deep inside, something was different. Maybe a lot of things. Anger, hurt, and something unnamable welled up in her again as it had many times over the past year when she thought of Natsu. As always of late when her mind latched on to the topic of him, one question came to mind. One word that had tortured her all those nights.

"Why?" she breathed out, barely noticing she had said it. Nor did she notice Natsu stiffen and glance back at her with sharp eyes. With a little shake of his head he walked over to his partner in crime who once again was trying to give Carla a fish.

"Hey Haps! Whaddya say you crash with Wendy and Carla so you can catch up? Would that be ok with you girls?" Natsu asked with his usual swagger. Happy's face broke out into a huge smile as both Wendy and Carla nodded their assent. "AYE! I can tell you girls all about our adventures… like the time Natsu and I were fishing and he got eaten by a fish and I need to save him…" Happy started off as Natsu smiled and walked away.

Lucy was so lost in her own thoughts, adrift in the memories of her life in Fairy Tail and the past year, she didn't notice Natsu looming over her with an odd look on his face. He leaned down and poked her cheek startling her at out of her reverie.

"Ah! Natsu! You scared me." The blonde girl shouted as she tried to settle her heartbeat a bit.

Natsu grinned down at her, "Not my fault you were staring at nothing with that weird look on your face"

"What do you want Natsu, I'm too tired to talk. I haven't even figured out where I'm staying tonight since I don't have an apartment here anymore"

"Simple. I came over to bring you to my place. You can crash with me until you get a place in town again."

Lucy's head shot up and for the first time she really looked at Natsu. Sometimes it was hard for her to believe he was there, after all the dreams and nightmares about him she had had over the past year. Now hearing him offer her his place, it brought a new surge in all of those emotions she had been bottling up since she had seen him again. Still, she had little choice but to smile and agree.

"Thanks Natsu! Though I guess after all the times you crashed at my apartment it's the least you could do" she offered with a wink.

At that the two headed out, walking a while in silence under the moon toward Natsu and Happy house near the forest. As Natsu wordlessly ushered her in he was shocked to see it was clean on the inside. He had left with Happy in such a rush before he had expected the mess he had left to be everywhere still. Lucy glanced over with a chuckle at his confused expression

"I asked Virgo to pop in once a month to clean your place on the off chance you came home." She explained, leaving out the part where she had also asked Virgo to tell her if there was any sign Natsu or Happy had come home.

"Thanks Luce, I can always count on you" Natsu said, offering her his usual smile that was reserved just for her. Lucy felt her heart tighten at the gesture, confused about what to do with everything bubbling up inside of her.

Natsu walked over to the fridge, rummaging around for a snack while Lucy settled on the couch. Walking over to join her, he handed her a lemonade which she gladly accepted. In taking the can from his hand her fingers briefly traced his, sending a shock through her system. As they sipped their drinks Natsu seemed to be thinking hard, his eyes narrowed slightly with a concentrated look on his face. Lucy simply stared at him, awed as she had been earlier with the whole situation with Gray that he seemed to be thinking so hard.

After a while, he closed his eyes with a sigh, took a deep breath and looked a Lucy with determined stare. "Luce…. we need to talk. I know you've got a lot you want to ask and say about… well everything."

Lucy's eyebrows shot up, surprised at both the serious tone in his voice and the topic he wanted to bring up. 'Could he even begin to guess what I had been thinking and feeling at the party?' Lucy thought to herself.

Not wanting to make a scene Lucy shook her head, "it's okay Natsu, we don't have to talk about anything. It's in the past right I'm fine. Besides I'm tired and just want to go to bed." She theatrically added a yawn at the end trying to be convincing.

At this Natsu's eyes lowered a bit, his expression softened to one of care and concern. He reached his hand over to her cheek, gently guiding her face until she was looking straight at him.

"No Luce you're not. You're hurt. You're angry. You're confused. And you have every right to be. Hopefully, after hearing me explain everything…. Well we'll see." Natsu's tone was so warm that Lucy couldn't help but shudder a little. A blush quickly spread over her face from his soft touch on her cheek. Shocked that he seemed to have read her mind Lucy numbly nodded and waited for Natsu to continue.

"I heard you whisper at the bar… Why… and it wasn't the first time. A few times while you've slept as we camped out you've whispered that. One time even while crying. You want to know why I left the way I did, right?" Natsu asked, wincing when he mentioned her crying. He always hated to see her cry. It always made his stomach ache, as if he had eaten something bad.

"You … I …. Um… YES! Of course I want to know why you left! You left me behind. Alone!"

With this Lucy jabbed Natsu in the chest with her finger, "Without even saying goodbye, just some stupid letter that said you were going off to training. And then you disappeared for a year! A YEAR! I couldn't find any trace of you anywhere. I looked and looked… hoping for even just a hint that you were okay and… I…" Lucy exploded after a minute. Tears raining down her face, hurtling words at Natsu like they were knives. All the pent up frustration, hurt and anger poured out of her from the past year.

Trembling she whispered softly the thing that had plagued her the most at night. "Why didn't you take me with you?'

At this Natsu wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into a hug. Lucy buried her face in his shoulder sobbing and trembling, unsure of what else she could do but ride out her emotions. Natsu held onto her, rubbing her back and trying to calm her down.

A few minutes after her outburst, Natsu finally felt Lucy calming down. He leaned back to look her in the eyes as he readied the speech he had practiced a million times over his journey.

"Because I had to protect you from Zeref" he stated locking his amber eyes on her brown ones.

He pressed on before Lucy could voice her confusion. "On Tenroujima when I first encountered Zeref he seemed to recognize me immediately. The way he called my name was like that of an old friend or relative, as if he had known me all my life. He didn't seem to know Happy, Elfman, or Evergreen though. Just me. After the battle of with Mard Greer, when he showed up again the same thing happened. He talk mainly only to me, telling me if I survived he'd give me more despair. He also mentioned wanting to finish our fight from the island. From all of this, it was clear that Zeref was going to come for me."

Natsu took a breath, letting Lucy absorb the weight of his words. Lucy was at a loss, unable to say anything. 'Zeref is after Natsu? Why? What could the most powerful, evil wizard of all time want with Natsu?' Lucy thought to herself.

"I also was worried Acnologia may want revenge against me for Igneel taking his arm," Natsu continued, choking up a bit as he thought of his adoptive father, " so I knew I had to get away from the guild for a while and train. I had to get strong enough to fight both Zeref and Acnologia." With this Natsu's face turned grim. "The most powerful dragon and dark wizard in history, not an easy task. I'm not there yet, but with everyone back together, we may stand a chance of stopping them".

Lucy was stunned. Natsu had left to train to essentially stop the two most dangerous threats to the world. Sure he had saved her countless times, even stopping dangerous wizards or averting catastrophes. But this was different, he was planning on fighting to save the world not simply falling into a bad situation. She felt a rush of warm pride for him but couldn't help the bitter tone in her voice as she asked "Is that all? Just trying to save the world?"

"I know Zeref and Acnologia are dangerous but I could have helped with your training! And maybe if they had come we could have fought together Natsu… I still don't see why you felt like you had to leave me behind, especially without even telling me to my face" Lucy said, starting to tire from all the emotions swirling inside of her.

"Luce I know you are a strong, one of the strongest wizards I've ever known. But I needed to keep you safe while I was training. I couldn't…. I can't…. the thought of seeing you die again... like with Future Lucy, I won't let it happen. I swear it" Natsu struggled. He had started to glow as he said this, as if his power was unconsciously activating to protect Lucy from unknown dangers.

He pressed on, "If I had told you in person you would have begged me to come. You would have cried or yelled or simply just followed me. And you would have won. A year without you was torture and when I thought about the look you'd give me, my insides would melt. I knew if I told you in person…. I wouldn't have the strength to tell you no… because… well..." at this Natsu stopped. He was fighting with what to say next, whether he should or not.

Lucy latched on to this, not really sure what he was going to say but something inside told her it was important. Maybe the most important thing she'd ever hear. Without thinking about she put her hand on his cheek and brought his gaze up to hers. "Please Natsu, tell me. Why wouldn't you have had the strength to say no?" They stared at each other a few minutes as Natsu's cheeks began to color.

In a soft voice laced with emotion Natsu finally told her the simple truth he had been holding back for so long.

"I love you."

The words hung in the air as Lucy's mind reeled. Then without thinking she grabbed Natsu's scarf and pulled him into her embrace, crashing her lips into his. Ignoring the pain of the not so romantic collision, she began kissing Natsu with everything she had, pouring all the pain and anger and hurt and love (the unnameable feeling from before) into the kiss. The smokey taste of his lips and the warmth of his body drove Lucy mad. It felt so good, so right. All she could think was 'he loves me!' over and over again.

Natsu too shocked to do anything but weakly move his lips at first, growled after a few moments and began kissing back. She tasted so sweet, like strawberries and seemed to be holding on to him as if trying to anchor herself. He had dreamed of kissing Lucy for so long, and the dream couldn't hold a candle to her soft lips. They fell onto the couch, letting their passionate kiss bridge the gap of a year of separation.

As the sun peeked began to peek through the windows they finally broke apart, settling into a comfortable embrace. Just as she started to doze off Lucy whispered to Natsu "I love you too idiot", falling asleep with a serene smile. Natsu grinned at her kissing her one last time before drifting asleep with her, not worried for once about what the day might bring. He chuckled to himself one last time before falling asleep, thinking "I'm all fired up!"


End file.
